only He can clean me up

i was so tired the other day, just feeling so overwhelmed by all these things that needed to be done. One of my fleshly patterns (from the GREAT book called Lifetime Guarantee by Bill Gillham) of behavior is sometimes to shut down or to feel completely helpless. I saw my daughter taking a nap outside on a blanket and she looked so peaceful, so I took that little visual suggestion, grabbed a blanket and laid down as well, i looked at so many piles and started feeling sorry for myself and then too many memories flooded me like a tidal wave. Never really learning how to take care of myself and feeling guilty for doing so, He took me by the hand and gently lifted me out of this feeling of helplessness and He gave me His strength. I wrote this poem, being effected by rejection and its devastating results, and having an imagination like mine, a little girl can believe a whole bunch of lies. So, thats what I believed since I didn't hear it, I'm not valuable and I don't have anything to offer, I just won't need anything, I won't ask anything and if I do ask, I'll probably feel guilty about it and say never mind. Here's an eye opener for you as well, if I believe I'm unlovable, i won't believe i'm loved, i will act out what i believe and cause you to reject me to somehow distort reality....you would not believe how much i dislike myself and am so insecure...UNTIL the Healer has been renewing my mind about this. It really helps me a lot to memorize the scriptures that say who we are in Christ at the present moment. Only the Holy Spirit can heal a person in this area. Come on guys, these precious hurting people are everywhere, they volunteer for everything for those little tiny crumbs that you drop for them....i am speaking from experience. Help them to Rest in the only one that can give them rest and a hope...please don't make people work for you to accept them, please...It was done once and for all on the cross. Please don't dump on heaps of guilt, they already feel guilty enough, do you know how hard it is for me to believe how loved i am? I know I have to take God at His word and put my feelings aside and yet...those beautiful promises are "i am accepted and i am forgiven!!" I hope this helps people....these books are incredible, i literally devoured them The In's and Out's of Rejection by Dr. Charles Solomon, The Handbook to Happiness by Dr. Charles Solomon, Lifetime Guarantee by Bill Gillham and Sidetracked in the Wilderness by Michael Wells.